Thoughts of the Day
More and more subtly I am warming up to being a girl. There is a lot of fear though- mostly about transitioning and how people will react if they know I am transgender or see me present myself differently than what they have grown used to.
A part of me feels almost guilty for wanting to change. But a good part of me feels it could be a good thing to at least try some things and see how they feel. I would think that I would know right away if something doesn't feel natural to me or not. And I am not talking surgery or hormone therapy- I am just talking about clothes and little things like that.
I probably wouldn't be as afraid if I knew that I could pass more fully as a female than male.
If people were to already see something in me that was much more feminine than masculine, it would help.
I am definitely feeling a bit intimidated by the idea of presenting myself to men as a girl. I am not homosexual and have no interest in men whatsoever. If by homosexual you would say lesbian- then yes, I would be a lesbian in that sense.
I would almost feel intimidated with the idea of not being feminine enough to pass among females. I know some people could be very petty and vicious- I would not expect it, but know it could happen from all corners. Women size and appraise each other up all the time- I've seen it and observed it so often. It's like a psychological game they play. I don't want games- I just want to be who I feel I am.